Last night I awoke, as Kierkegaard wrote. "In Fear and Trembling." Since I have lived a long and interesting life, and have no plans for further adventures, I should be content now to let the spirit fly free and answer the age-old question, "Is there life after death?" For many years, I have denied the existence of the soul. It seemed but a form of superstition to believe that sometime God would call all of his faithful forth and reunite soul and body, to live forever. It is part of the Apostle's Creed which all Catholics memorize and recite as part of their reportoir of prayers. "I believe in the Holy Ghost, the Holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen." I can recite the act of contrition at the drop of a hat, and my last moments will probably find me muttering the words and crying for a priest. Still, no one has been able to absolutely prove the existence of the soul, even experimenting with the dying by weighing just before death and just after, to see if there has been a reduction in weight. When i searched Google for some insight into the subject, it was portrayed as the consciousness of the intellect.
I rather believe that when we slip from this world into the unknown, it will be like blowing out a candle. The human mind has difficulty envisioning nothingness - we have no experience to draw upon. A few years ago I spent a few days in a coma and when I awoke, it was as though those days had never been. I had no memory whatsoever of the time lost. I slipped easily back into consciousness. Perhaps that is what death is like, only the darkness lasts forever. If that is the case, I will never know. I will no longer exist.
On the other hand, if indeed there is life after death, I will be pleasantly surprised. Maybe I will see my beloved Grandmother again, running down the path to meet me. She died far too young, and we missed her ever after.
Have I shocked my readers by revealing my lack of faith? Or have I struck a chord of understanding in what I have written? Please let me know what you think.
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3 comments:
We DO have souls that live beyond the body and we will meet up with those we love in the next realm. We can access that realm now from here. I hope all my animals are there waiting for me too. Swamiji spoke of at least 7 realms of being. I have heard of one where we can go just to rest our souls.
We cannot always resolve issues with our loved ones in this physical realm but can continue the relationship on the other side. It is not all darkness when we die. We have other work to do. Dreams are an access point or just plain old visitation.
I hope you do not get too depressed very often. Maybe get in the sun a little and get some Vitamin D.
De-lurking here to say 'hi'. I agree with you on the hereafter or lack of it. I was brought up as a Catholic but from a very early age had problems with 'faith'. I decided when i was about 10 that Heaven didn't seem such a good place to be as it would be so very crowded. Early signs of the somewhat practical and pragmatic person I have become. I have been through cancer twice (the first time accompanied by a chemo-induced stroke) and watched my younger sister die of the same cancer on her 43rd birthday but have to say I still have no Faith in anything other than the Here And Now. I am in my mid-fifties now and quite content with each day as it comes and that is enough for me.
I love your blog and enjoy the gentle reminincences in it. Keep up the good work.
Sharon
I am rather young, and healthy so I have never felt the true fear of not knowing the truth. I do however question the afterlife often. I have always believed that my grandmother has watched over me and when my other grandmother passed on, I have also looked toward her guidance from beyond. This being said, the love of my life and I share similar, but different religious backgrounds. He does not believe in a "heaven" as I do, his religion believes more in a paradise on earth after a judgment day. Until the judgment day your soul will sleep. This may sound blasphemous but I have my own very happy version of what happens to us all when the time comes. I believe that what ever you believe death and the afterlife to be, is what it will be. If you believe that you will go to the gates of St.peter to be judged than that is what will happen for you. If you believe that there will be bright warm lights before hand, then so be it. I believe that when I make it to heaven, I will be able to hug my grandparents. I will also be able to meet my love's mother who passed many years before I met him. However, her belief is different from mine, so she will not meet me, unless before she passed she wanted to meet the love of her children's lives. This is my version, I hope I am right!
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