You can't win

This happened in our little house about a year ago. I thought it worth mention just for the humor involved.

Scene 1

Family room, in great disarray. Furniture is shoved down to the far end of the room. Blocks of 4X4 wood are piled up in the middle of the room. Tools are strung around and sliding glass door is off the track and standing up against the wall. Clock on wall says 6:30.

Enter wife. Looks dismayed but says nothing. Husband is working on door. He looks cheerful and relaxed.

Husband: “See these screws? They adjust the depth of these little wheels that slide along the track. I have to make them longer.”

Wife: (nodding) “O.K.”
Husband works diligently with screwdriver. Wife looks and cries out in alarm.

Wife: “Stop! Stop!. You’re taking the frame apart.”

Husband mutters but tightens screw. Loosens other screw and the wheels fall completely out.

Husband: “There. There’s the problem. The wheels are flat.”

Wife takes wheels and runs them along the track of the door frame. They wheel smoothly. Husband then takes off the other set of wheels and they appear to be unharmed as well. Husband now attempts to put them back on the door.

Scene 11

Clock on wall shows 9:00. Husband and wife are in kitchen, eating can of Dinty Moore beef stew. Husband is frustrated. Wife is tired.

Wife: “We could stop and work on the door tomorrow. I’m a llttle tired.”

Husband: “Go to bed then. You’re no help anyway. I can do it myself.”

Scene 111

Family room where husband and wife are trying to get the door back on track. Husband is using crow bar, cats paw, spatula and various putty knives and the 4X4 boards to winch the heavy door up into position. The clock on the wall shows 11:30. Husband tries to lift door by himself and actually gets it up on the track. The wheels still won’t roll and husband wrestles with it, moving it an inch or two by brute force. Wife (fearing he will suffer physical damage) finally speaks.

Wife: “We could just leave it and call the window and door people. This is a two-person job and we don’t have the proper tools. It won’t cost too much.”

Husband throws tools down on the rug, utters a rude expression and gives the door a good kick. Door thumps into position and slides easily back and forth. Mission accomplished!

Scene 1V

Wife and husband are drinking hot coffee in kitchen and resting before cleaning up the family room.

Husband: “I think next I’ll tackle the kitchen sink. I’d like to put in a new stainless steel one. And the hot water heater needs a new element.”

Wife says nothing, until husband goes back into family room.

Wife: “You can’t win. I won’t even try.”

Exits to help husband. Clock says 12:30.