How to be a lady

Even though we lived way out in the country, five miles from the nearest town, which was a little hick town at that, Mother was determined that my sister and I should grow up to be ladies. She didn't have much to work with. Dressed in our floursack dresses and barefooted most of the time, we certainly didn't look the part. But she tried. How she tried! She had a whole litany of rules which she laid out for us to follow.
1. Don't let a boy kiss you. If he tries to force his attentions on you, slap his face.
2. Don't kiss a boy yourself.
3. When you sit down, don't cross your legs. Keep your knees together and cross your right ankle over your left.
4. If you must pick something off the floor, don't bend over at the waist. Do the modified curtsy-squat, and try to be modest with your skirts. If there is a man present, look to him helplessly, and he will pick it up for you.
5. Never accept a present from a boy, unless you are engaged. A bite of his candy bar, or a lick off his ice cream cone, or a stick of gum is all right. If he brings a flower that he has picked on his way to see you, that can be accepted as well.
6. When you are dancing, don't dance too close. Make sure his hand never strays below your waist.
7. At a dance, if you must step outside for a breath of fresh air, stay on the porch. Don't under any conditions go wandering off into the dark with your partner. People will talk.
8. If a man uses profanity or says anything disrespectful in your presence, tell your father. He won't do it again.
9. Ladies don't shake hands with men, gentlemen or otherwise. If he extends his hand, just ignore it.
10. If you are alone in the house, (which should never happen anyway) don't open the door to anyone of the male gender, just peek out the curtain and pretend you aren't home. He will go away after while.
11. Always talk in well-modulated tones, which are audible but not too loud. Nobody likes a loud-mouthed woman.
12. Walk sedately with short steps and your toes pointed forward, and never swing your arms.
13. Never, NEVER, come home with a hicky on your neck..
All of these rules were formulated to teach us to comport ourselves in a seemly fashion and give the illusion that we were well-bred and of quality. It wasn't easy. (To be continued tomorrow)